Not getting me down

I pulled my calf muscle again.  Walking down the stairs to the garage to take out trash.  I could let this totally put me in a funk, but I'm not.

Nope, not this time.

1.  I HAVE to stay positive or I'll never run again.

2.  I had two of the best runs I've had in a long time this past week.  I mean, I felt great after each one.  So I can't let this set me back.

Nope, I'm not going to get down about it.  I'm simply going to rest for a few days, keep it wrapped up in an ace bandage and research some stretches to try to keep this from re-occurring.  I do think the muscle wasn't completely healed from the first time and that's why it happened.  I noticed the day before yesterday that my calf was tight after my run.  But it didn't hurt and felt ok so I didn't think much about it. 

I HAVE to start paying more attention to what my body is telling me.  I do not like these injuries.

Now I don't know if I'll be ready for the Lickety Split 5k on 6/9 in town or not.  I was really hoping to run it again this year since I won a medal in it last year.  (Hells yeah!) I don't want to overdo my calf though, and this course if VERY hilly.  I'm debating.  I have about 2 weeks to really decide.  I can even wait until race day and register and run it.  I just don't know if that would be a smart move. 

I ordered some calf compression sleeves to wear while I run.  I *hope* these help with my muscle tightness in this leg and help me prevent from pulling this muscle again.  Purple ones of course, because I want to look cool and fabulous while I run.

Oh, and Al and the kids got me a Nike Fuelband for Mother's Day.  Can I just say that this thing is way awesome?  AND I got a free shirt in the mail from Women's Running magazine.

Do you not see the signs?  I CAN'T stop now - hurt calf or not!  So, wish me luck on resting up and then getting back at it.  Again.

For the 100th time.  

Frustration

My frustration with running has gotten the best of me lately.  I know I suck at running, but I haven't given up. But I came close.  The last week has been pure torture.  I can't think of a single run I went on that hasn't sucked.  Usually I'll have one or two really good days where I feel I did great, but not lately.

I seriously thought of quitting.  First time EVER.  I cried.  Al looked at me like I was crazy.  I cried more and told him I wanted SO BAD to be better at this.  That after all this time, why couldn't I run longer?  Why had the weight stopped coming off?  Why was so-and-so better than me?  Why do I even bother? 

I feel like a joke.  I try to motivate myself - hell, people tell I'm motivating THEM to run and be healthy.  Wow - if they only knew how sucky I was at running they'd probably just go eat a whole gallon of ice cream.  I know I would.  I guess you can tell Running and I are not on speaking terms.  It's been hard.  I have goals I want to accomplish, goals I want my kids to see me accomplish and learn a life lesson.  So when they saw me crying my eyes out over a crappy run earlier this week, I felt like I'd hit rock bottom.  It's not a pretty place to be. 

So what am I going to do?  I'm taking a few days break from running.  The silent treatment is what I usually do best anyways (ask Al!).  But I do plan on sticking it out.  I posted on FB how frustrated I was and I had so many friends give me great encouragement.  You guys have no idea how much I needed to hear (see, whatever) that!  Al is super supportive too....he's even willing to start my training program over with me.  He hasn't ran in a while either so we should be on even ground.  (Although Al has always been a better runner - he has a push that I haven't been able to muster.)

Running hasn't beat me yet.  It's definitely giving me a RUN for my money though!  (Pun intended) Up and down are normal folks and I guess I'm in a "down."  I'll get back up though - maybe one day you'll read this blog and I'll actually say "I LOVE RUNNING!"

I wouldn't hold my breath though if I were you.  :) 

Fila

You know I suck at running.

But I look damn cute sucking at it.  And now Fila has come out with Skele-Toes which are the COOLEST ever.

I want a pair.  I will get a pair.  And I will still probably suck ass at running.  But as I slowly run past some old women on the Rail Trail, I'm almost positive I'll hear "Did you see that cute girl's (because I still look so young) shoes?"

And I'll probably be wearing my "Forget glass slippers, this princess wears running shoes" shirt as well.

Damn, I need to model.

How's your runs going?

I'll never be a spokesperson

Let's face it - I'll NEVER be a spokesperson for running.  I hate it.  My legs, hair, arms, teeth and eyeballs hate it too.  If my organs could talk, I feel sure they would tell running to go to hell.  Just saying.

But I'm still running....some days I honestly don't know WHY, but I am.  I think I'm pretty much as good as I'll ever get.  I have to face the fact that I probably won't ever run farther than a mile before pooping out.  I'm ok with that.  Ok, that's a lie - I'd like to be able to run at least 2 miles before falling over.  Ok fine - I'll settle for the one mile if I can just look like running is the easiest thing in the world to everyone else and make them extremely jealous.  Is that too much to ask?

It's all about intervals.  Here I've been beating myself up because I couldn't run for this or that distance while all my running friends are like "Just finished a 10 miler" or something absolutely CRAZY like that.  I'll be honest - I totally hated their guts when I read that shit.  Then one day one of my runpals mentions that she changed up her intervals and that's how she was able to run that distance - "What the hey???" Yeap, she runs for a certain length of time and then walks a certain length of time.  HOLY SHIT BATMAN!  I thought that was cheating......but the more I read Runner's World, the more I learn that apparently A LOT of runners do this.

I'm on that bandwagon 100% baby.  Now that I know that it's ok to take a break, to walk and breathe again before passing out, I am on a mission.  Hell, maybe I'll be able to run 3 miles before collapsing onto the ground.  Wouldn't that be something?  

March

Another month, still running.

Still struggling, but I'm keeping at it.

I downloaded a new app on my phone - basically a couch to 5k type thing that I'm going to try.  I feel like I may be pushing myself too hard and too fast to try to reach goals.  I met one or two of them and then I have a set back and I have to start all over.  I know that's part of running and I have to stop beating myself up about it.  It's hard though.

I am signing up for a 5k in April.  I don't care if I have to walk the entire damn thing, I will participate.  I'm still debating on the half marathon in November.  I'd almost like to give it whirl even if I completely and utterly do horrible - like getting picked up by the van (ha ha!).  At least that way, depending on how I do, I will know if I'm doing this stuff right. 

Running sucks ass.  

New shoes

It's amazing how motivating new shoes can be.

It works on me.

Can I do it?

I lost Pam. 

No, not like we went running and I lost Pam and can't find her - but like Pam is no longer my "go to" running partner.  No worries, I still love her and we're still friends but she sucks major monkey toes for quitting.  I blame her old age. 

Anyways, Al is now my go to running partner.  I'm not sure he's happy about this or not - every time I mention going for a run, he gets a crazy look in his eyes like he's crashing off some crack induced high.  I just ignore him and tell him he best start running.  It has yet to happen.

So, I have to have a partner.  Or I'll quit.  And I feel I've come WAY to far to stop now.  Running isn't just about me anymore....I'm trying to teach my kids that being active and healthy is important, I'm running for my Mom because she can barely walk, I'm running for Al in an attempt to get him back on track, and I'm running for ME. 

I'm going to sign us up for a half marathon in November.  Al thinks I'm joking but I'm not.  I keep telling him that he's going to look really funny walking the ENTIRE 13.1 miles but he ignores me.  Maybe he's not taking me serious because it's only February, but he will come mid October.  I can bet you $100 on that friends!  I am worried I may be taking on something too hard for me - I'm still not a great runner but I am improving.  I figure if I run a few races in between and keep to a training program, I'll do fine.  I'm not trying to win, I'm just trying to finish.  In a reasonable amount of time.  And not last.  I NEVER want to finish last again.  Next to last, fine.  Last - HELL NO.

Wish me luck!  I'm on Day 2 of the program now.  Basically just running for about 20 minutes at a time to build up some endurance.  In about 3 weeks, the REAL training starts.  I am enjoying this part right now because I'll probably be whining and complaining when the hard parts start.  I haven't ran more than 2 miles straight so the thought of doing more than that scares me.  I have to remember that I CAN do it. 

I'm not sure about Al though.  He's being lazy.  And he knows I will totally post a picture of him walking a half marathon if it comes to that.  He's been warned.